|This is an interview I did with Techno Destructo a.k.a. Hunter Jackson, Arch Enemy of GWAR & Main
Artist of SLAVE PIT INC. This interview appeared in the 2nd issue of SATAN'S CANDY BASKET back in
early 1998. This is a "Treat" for all you unfortunate souls who never saw this issue!
Ahhh! That's right, it's me, Techno Destructo, arch enemy of GWAR. I understand that you actually wanted to
interview Jizmac & Beefcake, but your stuck here in the bathroom with me & I'm gonna force you to interview
me so I can twist & give my slanted view point. So shoot!!!
ANYONE WHO KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT GWAR KNOWS YOUR ORIGIN & THAT YOUR NOT
FROM THIS PLANET. FOR THOSE FEEBLE MINDED PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO DON'T KNOW
COULD YOU PLEASE TELL THEM?
O.K. GWAR are actually members of an intergalactic band of nematic space pirates. They were marooned here
on Earth billions of years ago because of their bumbling ineptitude. They pissed off the master so bad that he
finally condemned them here to be imprisoned on Earth for how ever long he felt necessary. And that's why
GWAR is here. Over the years they have influenced the human culture in many ways. They accidentally killed
off all the dinosaurs. They accidentally sank Atlantis. They accidentally caused the destruction of Sodom &
Gomorrah & many other atrocities that have been plaguing humanity. Every time it seems like the humans are
going to get ahead, GWAR knocks them back!
GWAR CLAIMS TO HAVE CREATED THE HUMAN RACE. IF SO, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO
LEAVE THIS PLANET WHEN YOU COULD HAVE THE ENJOYMENT OF WATCHING US DESTROY
OUR PATHETIC MISERABLE LIVES?
Well, it's sort of linked to GWAR, even though they did create the human race by accident. Because Slymenstra
Hymen wouldn't let them have any sex, they were forced to have sex with apes. So that's where the human race
came from. To GWAR the human race is like having crabs. They're these little pests that are crawling all over
you & itching you. With a gasoline sponge bath you can rid yourself of the problem, but GWAR is just to lazy!
SINCE GWAR DID CREATE US HUMANS, WOULDN'T IT BE IN OUR NATURE TO ACT THE WAY
WE DO & THEN, OF COURSE BLAME YOU FOR EVERYTHING?
It's possible, but that's the cool part about it. Human beings are so busy making up conspiracy theories about
how this person or this president of the U.S. (I think that's what you call him) & other people that influence your
life. When really they don't have to at all. GWAR is really controlling everything!
ON A SERIOUS NOTE, GWAR DOES GET BLAMED FOR A LOT THAT IS WRONG WITH OUR
YOUTH TODAY. DO YOU GET TIRED OF HAVING TO TAKE THE BLAME FOR WHERE PARENTS
WENT WRONG WITH THEIR CHILDREN?
Well, in all honesty, if parents were really responsible they wouldn't let their kids come out & see GWAR. They
would send them to Edna Grambo's Summer Bible Concentration Camp. Where they can learn how to behave like
they ought to, but they don't let them come to the GWAR shows. We advertise that you get $1.00 off your
shows ticket for a severed head of your parents. Some parents are so pathetic that they would do anything to win
the love of their children except actually love them!
ON THE "RAGNAROK" TOUR, WHEN YOU PLAYED IN PHILLY WE NEVER GOT TO SEE AN
APPEARANCE OF SLEAZY P. MARTINI, WHY?
Well, I'm glad you asked that, because actually, I Techno Destructo, arch enemy of GWAR, secretly
assassinated Sleazy P. & replaced him with a robot. So now this robot enables me to manipulate GWAR in new
& deeper ways that I could never quite reach before. In fact, he sold the dumping rights of the world, to dump
toxic waste in Antarctica & I'm using it as a raw material to create an army of mutant penguins that I am going
to attack GWAR with.
GWAR CLAIMED THE WORLD WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DESTROYED BY A HUGE ROCK LIKE
COMET & YOU GUYS WOULD FINALLY BE ABLE TO ESCAPE "THIS TOILET EARTH". WHAT
WENT WRONG THERE?
It didn't turn out to be a comet at all. It was actually a giant robot called Cardinal Sin, come to exact his holy
ultimate retribution on the human race. He didn't realize that there was a huge culture of semi-intelligent beings
growing on the planet Earth, until just recently. He was flying by & all of a sudden his Sin-O-Meter went off the
scale, so he came down here to check it out. When GWAR looked up in the air, they thought it was a huge
comet coming towards Earth. So, every body was having a party thinking it was going to be the end of the
world. Once it got close they realized it was actually Cardinal Sin, so GWAR went & duked it out with him &
postponed the destruction of Earth. You can see all of this by checking out GWAR's new video "Radezvous With
Ragnarok", on sale now! (laughs)
PLUG! PLUG! YOU HAVE MADE MANY ATTEMPTS TO GET OFF THIS MUD BALL OF A PLANET,
DO YOU THINK YOU'LL EVER DO IT?
Actually as Techno Destructo, I have been trying to get GWAR to leave this planet Earth for a long time. It's just
that they're too busy wallowing in the Rock & Roll lifestyle, taking drugs, screwing all these 16 year old groupie
chics. So they're too busy enjoying that to discover their true destiny as conquerors of the universe. I'm still
trying to make them leave, but if they won't leave, they leave me no choice but to destroy them!!!
THE YEAR 2000 IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, WILL THERE BE A MAJOR GWAR EVENT
FOR THE TURN OF THE CENTURY?
Well, your calenders are off. Last year was the year 2000. That's what the whole comet thing was about. We
missed the end of the world, but maybe we can catch it on the upswing in the next hundred years!
YOU ARE BACK AGAIN TO DO BATTLE WITH GWAR & GET YOUR BUTT WHIPPED AGAIN. DO
YOU THINK YOU WILL EVER REALIZE THAT YOU CAN'T STOP GWAR?
Ohhh! I am deeply hurt that you would even consider asking that question. My song was on the last album about
"The Private Pain Of Techno Destructo", fully chronicling how much I have suffered over the years at the
hands of my arch enemies GWAR. You human beings really need to listen to this song. Understanding & deeply
appreciating this song of peace. It is a song about how violence begets more violence & he who lives by the
sword will die by the sword. So everybody just chill out! In the words of my good buddy Rodney King, "Can't
we all just get along?" The other part of the song is no matter how much they fuck with me or no matter how
many times they bust my brain open & putting my grey matter on the pavement, no matter how many times
GWAR tries to chop my steel penis, I will still come back & fight GWAR. Every time they put me down I just
grow back together. I will continue to fight GWAR. I will never give up until they go down. From where I see it,
they have taken more abuse than I.
HERE'S A QUESTION I HEAR ALL THE TIME, WHAT THE HELL DOES GWAR MEAN?
GWAR is actually the war cry for the Scumdogs Of The Universe. The word GWAR is the closest thing in
human translation of the war cry which is Arghrhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (something like that) So, it's like a twenty
five letter word. Once they became a Rock & Roll band Sleazy P. had them put GWAR in 4 letters so they could
fit their name on T-shirts & stuff!!!
This half of the interview is done with Hunter Jackson, Techno Destructo's alter ego. Hunter is also a
member of GWAR, as you found out above. He is also one of the main artists who helped create GWAR
& it's props, plus he helps run SLAVE PIT INC. Where everything for GWAR is made! Read on &
SINCE GWAR & X-COPS ARE CONNECTED THROUGH SLAVE PIT INC. I WAS WONDERING IF
YOU HAD ANY INFORMATION ON THEM & WILL WE EVER GET TO SEE THEM AGAIN?
I know that the musicians are really into doing the X-COPS. The X-COPS are really cool cause it allows them to
do music with out the eighty pounds of costumes, while getting hosed down in middle of a football game. The
X-COPS allows them the freedom to be musicians & get out there & play their hearts out without being
encumbered by all the equipment. At the same time on the artist end we started doing the GWAR comic book.
This comic book is half GWAR and half other crazy stuff! Allowing the artist to create characters & stories
outside of the GWAR realm. Check that out too!
IN YOUR MUSIC I HEAR A LOT OF DIFFERENT MUSICAL INFLUENCES, ESPECIALLY ON THE
NEW ALBUM. DO YOU THINK THIS IS THE REASON YOU STAND APART FROM ALL THE
CLONED BANDS OUT THERE? BESIDES THE FACT THAT YOUR NOT FROM THIS PLANET?
The cool thing about GWAR is that we are not limited to one style of music. We are free to experiment through
the context of the show, through the characters in our show with special songs, like the country music song. We
had Skulhead Face sing a Broadway type song, so that was kind of funny. At the same times throwing Rock &
Roll songs in there too. Like this time, GWAR woman did the torch song from our new album, which is pretty
popular. It's been really cool the way that's been able to go over in our live show. When we 1st planned on that
the music was pre-recorded & she sings live. When we 1st started doing that there was a lot of apprehension on
how well that would go over in a Heavy Metal slam dancing crowd. When she comes out everyone shuts up &
listens. It's really cool, except for a few assholes that start screaming show us your tits. But it is a pretty cool
scene. It's great that we can have that variety!
I NOTICED IN THE ALBUM THERE IS A NEW GWAR MEMBER MENTIONED (MUSSLE) ON
KEYBOARDS. WHO IS HE & HOW DID HE GET TO BE A MEMBER OF GWAR?
His name is Dave Mussle & he has been with us from the very beginning. His contribution has been very
important. He's the one, the keyboard player, who's not on stage & a lot of what he does is sound effects. Like
during the show when you hear the whacks & the umphs! When people get hit it adds a lot of dimension to the
show & makes it work a lot better than if he wasn't there. Plus more over the years he's been musically involved
like in X-COPS he was able to do a lot more. On the new album he contributed so much that we really wanted to
say that he is a very important musician. We tried to make a costume for him to be a part of the show, but after
so many years of being behind the scenes he just wasn't comfortable. He has to see all the action on stage to do
the sound effects. He is a very important part of the band from the very beginning!!!
SLYMENSTRA HAS BEEN WITH THE BAND FOR A WHILE NOW, BUT SHE HAS ONLY SUNG ON
TWO SONGS. IS THIS A NEW FOUND TALENT OF HERS OR DID SHE FINALLY BEAT IT INTO
YOUR HEADS THAT SHE CAN REALLY SING?
(laughs) We actually had 2 GWAR women before her, but she was the first one to grab the ball & run. She
started developing the story line, she created the character. She's not a go-go dancer by any means. She's added
a lot to the story line. Like when we do the comic books, especially involving Slymenstra. I will collaborate with
her to get the lines down & get the maximum "Hate Men" feeling, you know, the castrate the men attitude. A man
just can't supply that feeling, because it's important that GWAR is fun for women too. In reality, Slymenstra is
the strongest character of all. When Techno Destructo comes out & attacks GWAR, she is the one who kicks
his ass, cause the rest of GWAR is too fucked up to fight. Her character is a empowering figure being a woman
with strength. With the fire breathing, she is working on getting in the Guinness Book Of World Records. All she
has to do is set up an appointment, she already knows that her fire breathing is bigger & better than anyone else
has done. That's one reason that KISS hates us, because there was a picture of Gene Simmons blowing a fire
ball & a picture of Slymenstra blowing a fire ball & it was about 5 times bigger than Genes was. So that kind of
pissed him off! (laughs)
DO YOU THINK THERE WILL EVER BE A RETURN OF GRAMBO & OR CARDINAL SIN? COULD
THERE BE A GRAMBO VS. CARDINAL SIN OR A TEAM UP OF BOTH EVENT EVER HAPPEN?
That would be cool. This GWAR world that we built will hopefully have the characters coming back &
interacting. Personally, I'd like to see Techno team up with Cardinal Sin & Grambo, (making her into a cyborg).
Last time we saw her she was terribly murdered & ripped apart. So we would have to come up with some bogus
reason why she is still around.
WHAT ARE SOME OF THE FUTURE PLANS OF GWAR & SLAVE PIT INC.?
Well, right now were getting ready to do a video that's going to document our latest tour, which was the whole
penguin attack thing. Plus the wedding of Techno & Slymenstra, where Techno hypnotizes Slymenstra with a
large radioactive crack rock. Thinking that if he teams up with Slymenstra, he's going to be able to kick GWAR's
ass. But it doesn't quite work out that way. Cardinal Sin is a reoccurring character that comes back & makes an
appearance in our show tonight.
DO YOU HAVE ANY LAST COMMENTS OR ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO SHOUT OUT TO
END THIS INTERVIEW?
Yes, remember this kids, you've got to stand up for the sick fun that you crave because there is always some one
out there that's not having as much fun as you that wants to take away your right to have what ever kind of sick
fun you want. So stand up for the cool stuff you want to see, like GWAR! Oh yeah, support us & come to the
shows & keep buying our stupid stuff or we are going to go away!