| MOVIE & VIDEO REVIEWS (February 2007) |
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| AMERICAN PIE: NAKED MILE (R) UNIVERSAL PICTURES (DVD) 2006 Starring: John White, Maria Ricossa, Steve Talley, Jake Sigler, Joe Bostick & more. The Stifler legacy continues in this new AMERICAN PIE film. A young cousin of Stifler gets a free pass from his girlfriend for the weekend, to do what ever he wants. He wants to have sex with his girlfriend, but she wants to wait, this is the reason she gives him the pass. Him & his friends head to the college for the Naked Mile weekend. This is where all the students get completely naked & run through the campus. He meets a hot chick who definately wants to have sex with him, so now he is conflicted wether to go through with it or what for his girlfriend, who is in love with. This was an ok film, but my least favorite in the series. http://AMERICANPIEmovie.com |
| BAD GIRLS FROM MARS (R) LIONS GATE FILMS (DVD) 1991 Starring: Edy Williams, Oliver Darrow, Brinke Stevens, Jay Richardson, Jeffery Culver & more. I didn't expect this film to be great, but I also didn't expect it to be this bad. A small independent film company keeps losing their leading ladies, because they are being killed off. Every time a new female comes in for the parts they wind up dead with in a few days. They try to figure out who is behind the murders, so they can finish up their movie. The film was done kind of cheesy & the acting was just as bad. They do fill the screen with a lot of nudity to compesate for the bad script though. View at your own risk! |
| BEER LEAGUE (R) IDENTITY FILMS (DVD) 2006 Starring: Artie Lange, Ralph Machhio, Anthony DeSando, Cara Buono, Jimmy Palumbo & more. An over wait, drunk in his late 30's who still lives with his mother needs to get his life together. He plays on a local softball team who is always fighting with a rival team. His team is filled with drunks & low lifes, the other team is filled with all the rich snooty guys in town. They decide to train hard so they can beat these guys & go to the championship game. There are a lot of screwball antics & funny perverted jokes all through out, which is what I expected from Artie Lange of the HOWARD STERN SHOW. If your like movies like VACATION, ANIMAL HOUSE & AMERICAN PIE you'll like this film. www.BEERLEAGUEthemovie.com |
| DEAD RINGERS (R) WARNER BROS (DVD) 1988 Starring: Jeremy Irons, Genevieve Bujold, Heidi Von Palleske, Barbara Gordon, Shirley Douglas & more. Two twins who are very close & very brilliant from a young age. They study the female buddy & want to examine some of the young girls in town, but they always get made fun of. They grow up to be famous gynocologist who have invented some great medical equipment for their field. When a famous actress comes to thier practice one of the twins falls in love with her. They start dating & doing everything together. The other twin goes crazy in the head & starts doing drugs & a bunch of odd things. This twin is in love with his own brother & can't handle the seperation. The one winds up killing the other in a bizarre sexual way! |
| GRIDIRON GANG (R) COLUMBIA PICTURES (DVD) 2006 Starring: The Rock, Xzibit, L. Scott Caldwell, Leon Rippy, Kevin Dunn & more. Based on a true story about a correction facility in California for troubled youths. The Rock & Xzibit are the head of one of the departments there that try to help these kids turn their lives around & make something of themselves. They decide they want to start a football program to get the kids focus, desciplined & to give them something to do. This is also to help inspire them do lead a better life when they get out. There is a really good story & you really can get into the film. I thought this film was great & should have done better in the theaters than it did. This is definately worth watching! www.GRIDIRONGANG-movie.com |
| HERBIE FULLY LOADED (PG) WALT DISNEY PICTURES (DVD) 2005 Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Michael Keaton, Matt Dillon, Brekin Meyer, Justin Love & more. The Volkswagon Bug is back. I grew up watching these movies, so I really enjoyed this one too. This time around a father is looking to buy his daughter a new car for her graduation. Her father is a Nascar racer & is training his son to follow in his footsteps. They find Herbie in a junk yard & buy him to fix up & make new. Lindsay soon finds out that Herbie has a mind of his own. Herbie wants to race for her fathers team & beat the lead guy, who is very arrogant & mean. There are plenty of goofy antics, jokes & comical parts all through the film. This is one that definately fits with the legacy of the previous films. http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/HERBIE |
| JACKASS NUMBER TWO (R) PARAMOUNT / MTV FILMS (DVD) 2006 Starring: Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Ryan Dunn & more. The Jackasses have returned & this time they are more intense than before. The guys have taken this film beyond anything else you've seen them do before. They launch each other with rockets, stick leeches on their eyes, drink horse seman, human fishing for sharks, blindfolded bull fighting & lots more. These guys have gotten naked way too much for my taste, but the stuff they do is funny as hell. If you think you can stomach the gross idiotic & insane stuff they do, then you must watch this film. You won't believe some of the crazy shit they do!!! www.JACKASSmovie.com |
| LIVE FEED (R) PLOT DIGGER FILMS (DVD) 2006 Starring: Mike Bennett, Randy Bird, Greg Chan, Stephen Chang, Mike Ching & more. Five friends embark on a night out for adventure in the Philippines. They head to a local bar, where one of the guys bumps into someone there & they almost get killed, until a stranger steps in. He saves them & tells them to leave. The 5 friends then head to a porno theater. They get seperate rooms, so they can perform sex acts on each other. They all get locked in the rooms & then comes the fun part. In comes some huge masked man who tortures them & slaughters them one by one. The club is own by the head of the Japanese mafia, who watches all these things on hidden cameras in the rooms. The film reminded me a lot of HOSTEL, just not as good! www.LIVEFEEDthemovie.com |
| MIAMI VICE (R) UNIVERSAL PICTURES (DVD) 2006 Starring: Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx, Li Gong, Luis Tusar, Naomie Harris & more. Based on the hit 80's tv show comes this new film. Everyone knows the basic theme of the film. Crockett & Tubbs, two Miami Vice cops are always on the beat to get the bad guys. They go under cover & pose as drug trafficers to get on the inside of the drug bosses, so they can make their bust. They are always finding themselves in messed up situations & seem to always get out of it. I was never a fan of the tv show, but the movie looked some what good. I was wrong. I thought the story was a bit cheesy, the acting was awful & there was not enough action to keep me interested & it didn't help that the movie was over 2 hours long too. www.MIAMIVICE.com |
| NATIONAL LAMPOON'S PLEDGE THIS (R) FREESTYLE RELEASING (DVD) 2006 Starring: Paris Hilton, Paula Garces, Sarah Carter, Simon Rex, Alexis Thorpe & more. Paris Hilton is a rich snotty girl (surprised) who is the head of a sorority house at a college. She tortures the new pledges into doing what she wants for them to get into the sorority. When a bunch of outcast from another sorority need to find somewhere new to live they decide to pledge for the sorority. They let them pledge just so they can have the fun of humiliating them & making them do disgusting, degrading & stupid stunts. The pledges eventually get back at them & reverse the antics on the sorority girls. This was a an ok flick, but not one to watch over & over again. It's a film to watch if there's nothing else on to watch!!! www.PLEDGETHIS.com |
| PULSE (PG-13) DIMENSION FILMS (DVD) 2006 Starring: Kristen Bell, Ian Somerhalder, Christina Milian, Rick Gonzalez, Jonathan Tucker & more. A group of friends get suspicious when one of their friends becomes secluded from everyone. His girlfriend goes to his apartment to find him hanging by his neck in his bedroom. After a few days she gets an email from him asking for help. Even though he has passed the weird thing was that her computer was unplugged. A bunch of her friends start dying off in many different ways. Everyone who gets these emails starts acting strange. The emails are coming from the dead, who are trying to find their way to this side & take over the world. They start emerging through all different electronics & come after the living. This was good, but the original Japanese was better. www.PULSEthemovie.com |
| SMOKIN ACES (R) UNIVERSIAL PICTURES (Theater) 2007 Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Jeremy Piven, Ray Liota, Alicia Keys, Ben Affleck & more. Piven is a chessy Los Vegas magician who is very famous. He wants to get in tight with some mob type people. He wants to be a big mob guys himself. He gets himself in tight & then everything goes to shit. He decides he's going to come clean to the FBI & rat people out to give himself a clean slate. He is held up in a hotel & everyone is after him, because there is a huge bounty on his head. Everyone meets up in the hotel & the slaughter begins. There is a lot of great action & intensity all through out the film. This is one worth watching over & over!!! www.SMOKINACES.net |
| SNAKES ON A PLANE (R) NEW LINE CINEMA (DVD) 2006 Starring: Samuel L Jackson, Julianna Margulies, Nathan Phillips, Rachel Blanchand, Flex Alexander & more. The best film title for a movie that explains the movie perfectly to come along in awhile. Jackson is an FBI agent who is transporting a witness to a murder on a plane from Hawaii. The crime lords who know he is on the plane devise a new unheard of attempt to kill the witness & everyone on the plane. They load all different types of snakes in the cargo & spray the lays that the passengers where with some stuff that enrages the snakes to break free & attakc the people on the plane. Everyone is trying to survive & kill the snakes at the same time. This film was really made fun of, but it was actually really good & much better than I thought it would be. Check it out! www.SNAKESONAPLANEmovie.com |
| THE COVENANT (PG-13) SCREEN GEMS (DVD) 2006 Starring: Steven Strait, Laura Ramsey, Sebastian Stan, Taylor Kitsch, Chace Crawford & more. A group of four guys are turning 18 & are discovering they have special powers & are trying to control them. They find out their families are from a covenant of witches & warlocks. When some new people come to the college they go to, things start changing. Friends start acting weird & strange things start happening to them.They discover that this new guy is the fifth part of this covenant. They start doing battles with this new guy who wants to steal their powers & become all powerful. The film was ok, but it's worth watching. www.sonypictures.com/movies/THECOVENANT |
| THE DESCENT (R) LIONSGATE FILMS (DVD) 2006 Starring: Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Mendoza, Alex Reid, Saskia Mulder, Nora Jane & more. A group of female friends who are adventure seekers. After one of the girls husband & child are killed in a car accident. A few years later the girls decide to go cave dwelling. They find a undiscovered cave they go exploring. During the exploring they discover some unsettling things in the caves that there have been people there before them. They soon are being hunted down as prey by these creatures in the caves. They are slowly being devoured, but some of the girls fight back & start kicking some serious ass. This film was really good, lots of suspense, action & lots of blood & gore. Definately one of the best low budget b-movies ever!!! www.THEDESCENTfilm.com |
| THE HITCHER (R) ROGUE PICTURES (Theater) 2007 Starring: Sean Bean, Sophia Bush, Zachary Knighton, Neal McDonough, Kyle Davis & more. I wasn't sure about this remake being any good, sometimes the remake is never as good as the original. This film was grreat! It blew away the original big time. The story was more in depth, intense & more suspenseful. A couple of teens are heading to Mexico for spring break when they pick up a hitch hiker. He reveals he is going to kill them when they fight back & kick him out of the car. The rest of the movie he is hunting down these teens to kill them. Everything in this film was great. There was enough blood to satisfy any horror fan & it was well placed & not over the top! It fits the story correctly. Definately see this film!!! www.THEHITCHERmovie.net |
| THE MACHINIST (R) PARAMOUNT CLASSICS (Showtime) 2004 Christian Bale, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Aitana Sanchez, John Sharian, Michael Ironside & more. Christian Bale works in a machine factory & is extremely thin. He hasn't slept in over a years time & not only is losing weight, but is also losing his mind. too. As the film goes on he starts figuring out little clues of why he is losing his mind. He is trying to find out why people are doing things to him to make him crazy. The guys he works with are nervous being around him & get him fired. At the end he unravels all the clues & realizes why he hasn't been able to sleep & is losing his mind. There was a great story & you truly believe the characters. This is a well written movie with great acting, dialogue & shot perfectly! Watch this film!!! http://MACHINISTmovie.com |
| THE MAID (R) TARTAN VIDEO (DVD) 2005 Starring: Alessandra De Rossi, Huifang Hong, Benny Soh, Zhenwei Guan, Shucheng Chen & more. A young girl is brought to a small family in the Philippines to become their maid. The girl comes in during this spiritual ritual time for people in the Philippines. They put food out on their sidewalk & burn candles for the dead to keep them happy & away from the living. If you mess with this process it angers the dead & they attack. The couple have another reason for hiring the young girl, which is soon discovered by the girl. She does what she can to try & escape. There is a weird twist to the film, but it does have a good story & is a bit freaky!!! www.mediacorpraintree.com/THEMAID |
| THE PROMISE (PG-13) WARNER INDEPENDENT (DVD) 2005 Starring: Dong-Kun Jang, Hiroyuki Sanada, Cecilia Cheung, Nicolas Tse, Ye Liu & more. Two Young kids, a boy & girl who are friends play around all the battle fields around all the dead bodies. When they were teasing each other she out wits the boy, who promises he will get his revenge. We shoot many years later when a servant of the lord, takes his place in disguise when the lord is almost killed in a fight. The slave heads out to kill the person the lord was going to & falls in love with a young woman. She thinks it the king, but slowly realizes it's not him. She tends to find out who it is, cause that is her true love! There is an awesome story, told very well & has some amazing shots in it. If you dug the movie HERO, you'll love this one too! www.THEPROMISEmovie.nl |
| WICKER MAN (R) WARNER BROS (DVD) 2006 Starring: Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, Kate Beahan, Frances Conroy, Molly Parker & more. Nicolas Cage plays a police officer, who tries to help a woman who is broken down on the side of the road. Her daughter & her are killed by a tractor trailer. He tries to find out who the girl was. He follows some leads to some private island where everyone lives off the land & the woman run the place. He starts investigating the were abouts of this girl. He starts finding stuff out & things start going strange. It is later revealed that there is a reason he was brought to the island. The film was better than I expected & has a different kind of ending! http://THEWICKERMANmovie.warnerbros.com |
| ZOMBIE NATION (R) LIONS GATE FILMS (DVD) 2004 Starring: Gunther Ziegler, Brandon Dean, Axel Montgomery, Phil lander, Martina Bottesch & more. This was a very awful movie. I read a review of it that said it was Craptastic! This is highly true. It's about a cop who pulls over woman for no reason & takes them to an abandonded werehouse & kills them & has sex with them. He takes the bodies & buries them in the desert. A voodoo priestess makes some spell to bring back all the women from the dead & they become zombies. They go after the cop who did this to them. The story was bad, the acting was bad, the special effects was bad, this movie was bad!!! www.ZOMBIENATION.movie.com |