| MOVIE & VIDEO REVIEWS (July 2005) |
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| AMERICAS MOST RETARTED AXIS VIDEO / A LEPRECON PRODUCTION (VCD) 2005 This is a VCD sent by AXIS VIDEO for review. I couldn't get all the files to work, but I did get most of them to play. There are four features on this disc. The title says it all folks! There is Jimmy "The Bus Boy", who is a 40 something man who has been a bus boy for 25 years. He has rotted teeth & is very strange looking. He eats boogies, licks dirty ash trays & the bottom of sneakers & lots more gross stuff. Then there is Larry "The Looney", who does a bunch of Jackass type stunts. He jumps off bridges, submerges himself in sewer water & crashes into stuff in a shopping cart. Letaher Wench Rock is an old aged pink haired Metal chick, retelling stories of being a star in Hollywood & meeting lots of Rock stars. She is very annoying! Then there are two retarted brothers who do a lot of backyard wrestling stuff & then stuff each others heads in an outhouse toilet full of shit! This is definately America's Most Retarted! As a bonus there is an interview with Dave Brockie (Oderus of GWAR) & live footage of his side project THE DAVE BROCKIE EXPERIENCE! Get in touch with AXIS for this crazy ass video! - P.O. BOX 551 / GLOUCESTER, NJ. 08030 / www.AXISVIDEO.net |
| AXISVIDEO.NET SAMPLER AXIS VIDEO (VCD) 2005 This VCD has a few files on it with samples of what you'd be able to find from AXIS VIDEO. There are live footage videos of KITTIE, THE DAVE BROCKIE EXPERIENCE, BOZO PORNO CIRCUS & more. There's a short movie called THE SHOWER ISN'T SO CLEAN, about a man & woman showering together & she pee's in the shower. There's a Cyndie Myst-Bitch Photot Shoot with a bunch of bitches possing sexy for the camera. A DEAD EMOTION music video, a LOLLIPOP LUST music video & more. Plus a bitch segment of a bunch of chicks saying that they are sexy bitches, which they really aren't that sexy to begin with! There are a few other things as well. Check out the website & you can probably find some of this stuff there!!! - P.O. BOX 551 / GLOUCESTER, NJ. 08030 / www.AXISVIDEO.net |
| BATMAN BEGINS (PG-13) WARNER BROS. (Theater) 2005 Starring: Christian Bale, Michael Cane, Liam Neeson, Katie Holmes, Gary Oldman & more. Finally! A good BATMAN movie! I loved the firat two BATMAN movies, but the series quickly went bad. This is a new start to the franchise. This is a great start too. The film shows you how Bruce Wayne's parents are murdered. It then takes you through how Bruce deals with it as a child, teen & young adult. He is then forced into the underworld by the crime lords who are taken over Gotham City. He is caught in a crime bust & tossed into a foreign jail half across the world. He is rescued by The League Of Shadows, a band of warriors set out to clean out the evil in the world. They train Bruce in all types of fighting skills & weapons. He escapes them & heads back to Gotham. Here he starts developing his BATMAN costumes & gadgets witht he help of Wayne Industries, his fathers company. The movie is real dark & gritty through out. BATMAN even seems a little more aggressive & intense than past films. The story was very good as well as the acting too. Christian Bale is the best actor to portray BATMAN yet. This is a must for anyone who wants to see a good BATMAN film!!! - http://BATMANBEGINS.warnerbros.com |
| BREEDERS (R) MGM / UNITED ARTISTS (VHS) 1986 Starring: Teresa Farley, Lance Lewman, Frances Raines, Natalie O'Connell, Amy Brentano & more. I heard of this film from the 80's before, but never saw it until now. The film takes place in New York City, where women are being attacked & raped. The women are being attacked by people they know, but before they are attacked the men start screaming in pain & bleeding from all different parts of their bodies & their skin is then shed to reveal an alien creature. The creature then attackes & rapes the women. The women come from all walks of life, but have one thing in common, they are all virgins. The women all end up pregnant after the attacks, so they can spawn alien babies to take over earth. The story was cheesy as well as the special effects & acting, but there was a lot of nudity. Just about every woman on screan got naked. This is worth at least one viewing for this reason alone!!! |
| EYEBALL (R) JOSPEH BRENNER ASSOCIATES INC. (VHS) 1975 Starring: Martine Brochard, John Richardson, Ines Pellegrini, Andres Mejuto, Mirta Miller & more. This is an Italian movie from the 70's. It's a slasher type horror movie about a group of tourists in Italy on tour of the country. There are all different people on the tour. At every place they stop & visit a new person is killed off. The victims are always women & they all have their eyes gouged out, which is why the name of the movie is called EYEBALL. Each of the killings are pretty much the same. All of them for some reason get naked & then eventually get killed off, The over dubbing was ok, but the story & acting were a little slow & cheesy!!! |
| FANTASTIC FOUR (PG-13) 20TH CENTURY FOX / MARVEL ENTERPRISES Starring: Ioan Gruffudd, Michael Chiklis, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Julian McMahon & more. This is the film I was waiting 4! I have alwaysbeen a huge FANTASTIC FOUR fan, from the comics, cartoons, toys, etc... I saw a bootleg copy of the first really bad FANTASTIC FOUR movie that was never released. They did a great job on this new film. They stuck really close to the true story of the comics. The movie follows Reed, Ben, Victor, Johnny & Sue on their space mission to collect samples that will further help understand Human DNA. On the mission they are all bombarded with radiation & soon come to find the effects of this mission. All the people get powers that have taken on traits of their personalities. They want to correct this new powers & return normal, when an accident on the Brooklyn Bridge forces them to use their powers to save lives. Once the public see this they start dubbing them as super heros & calling them the FANTASTIC FOUR. They eventually embrace these powers & decide to use them for the good of mankind. I really liked the way they did the movie. I felt they picked the right people to portray each character. The story was good, the acting was good & the special effects were great! I'd have to say it's right up there with SPIDER-MAN & the X-MEN movies!!! Most fans will be happy with this film!!! - www.FANTASTICFOURmovie.com |
| FCKN BSTRDS - NOISE TRASH (DVD) 2005 This is a DVD for the band FCKN BSTRDS. These guys are totally insane. They play some very chaotic & crazy Noise Experimental music. There is a lot of feedback & static in their sound. The DVD contains lots of live footage of the band. Their shows seem very bizarre as well. There is lots of S&M, torture, costumes, violence, sex & much more at their shows. I liked a lot of the weird animation & stuff between the live footage. They were like a noisy version of GWAR, THE GENITORTURERS & BAD LUCK 13 all rolled into one!!! This was some really crazy ass shit!!! |
| FOXFIRE (R) CHESTNUT HILL PRODUCTIONS (VHS) 1996 Starring: Angelina Jolie, Jenny Lewis, Jenny Shimizu, Sarah Rosenberg & more. This film is about a group of high scholl girls, who have nothing in common with each other. The girls aren't even friends or speak to each other, until one day a new girl shows up at school & is an outcast in every way. She finds out that one of the teachers is sexually harrasing the female students & convinces them to stand up for themselves. They go together to see the teacher & beat the shit out of him. The girls get suspended from school & quickly bond together. They start doing lots of stuff to get themselves in trouble like breaking into the school, drugs, stealing a car & kidnapping the one girls abusive step father. This isn't a great film, but there is a good enough story to keep you interested. Plus you get to see a younger Angelina Jolie topless!!! |
| KISSED (R) GOLDWYN FILMS / ORION HOME VIDEO (VHS) 1996 Starring: Molly parker, Peter Outbridge, Jay Brazeau, Natasha Morley, Jessie Winter & more. This film starts off following a young girl who is a loner & a little weird. She has a fetish for dead animals. She rubs the dead animals blood on her body & gets turned on by it. As she gets older she gets a job in a funeral home. She gets to clean up the bodies & prepare them for the viewings. After everyone leaves she starts having sex with all the male corpses. She then goes to college to learn the embalming process, so she can be closer to the bodies. In college she meets a guy she she then starts dating. She doesn't enjoy having sex with him because he is alive. Her boyfriend finds out about her having sex with corpses. He then kills himself so she will have sex with him. The movie was a little strange, but was actually kind of good!!! |
| LAND OF THE DEAD (R) UNIVERSAL PICTURES (Theater) 2005 Starring: Simon Baker, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper, Asia Argento, Robert Joy & more. I was very excited to see this film when I heard about it. I'm a huge zombie fan & a fan of George A Ramero. This is the fourth installment of his zombie flicks. In this film the zombies have gotten smarter & have learned how to do things they used to do when they were human. There is a small city of humans surrounded by water. In the middle of the city is a huge skyscrapper building where all the rich people live. In the surrounding run down buildings is where everyone else lives. The outer limits of the city are gaurded by military soldiers. Everytime a zombie comes close to the city they are blown away. The city sends out troops at night to scour the zombie infested cities for food & supplies. On one trip the zombies follow them back to the city. Once they figure out how to get in, all hell is unleashed! There is a ton of gore & good gross parts too. The zombie effects & make up were supurb as always coming from Tom Savini. There is enough blood, gore, action & violence to satisfy any fan of these types of movies!!! - www.LANDOFTHEDEADmovie.net |
| LITTLE WITCHES (R) LE MONDE ENTERTAINMENT / A-PIX ENTERTAINMENT (VHS) 1996 Starring: Mimi Reichmeister, Sherri Rappaport, Zelda Rubinstein, Jack Nance, Eric Pierpont & more. This flick is about a bunch of teenage girls all living at a private catholic schoo. It's your typical teen girl group too. You have the smart one, the bad one, the good one, the fat one & the innocent virgin one. There are men doing renovations on the church when a hidden tunnel below the church is discovered. Once night falls the girls decide to go exploring in the tunnels. They discover some ancient religious ritual rooms. They start messing with incantations & spells in books & demosn from hell are summoned. The girls start doing weird things, especially the bad girl. The only one not affected is the virgin girl. The church finds out & is forced to cast the demons back to hell. The acting is bad & so was the story & special effects. The one girl is decent to look at & you get to see a younger Clea Duvall (T3, GHOST OF MARS, CARNIVALE) in one of her first roles!!! |
| SAVED! (PG-13) UNITED ARTISTS / MGM (DVD) 2004 Starring: Jena Malone, Mandy Moore, Macaulay Culkin, Patrick Fugit, Heater Matarazzo & more. This is a film I've been looking forward to seeing> It's a dark comedy about religion. I'm not a big fan of religion, so I knew I was going to like this movie. It's based around a religious high school where the teens are all into Jesus & turning anyone they can to God. When one of their friends gets pregnant they turn her away. She finds comfort from the only Jewish girl in school her wheelchair bound boyfriend. There are a bunch of funny things that happen that poke fun at religious freaks & Mandy Moore was very good & funny as the lead Jesus freak! This is definately worth checking out!!! www.SAVEDmovie.com |
| SCORNED 2 (R) ROYAL OAKS ENTERTAINMENT (VHS) 1997 Starring: Tane McClure, Myles O'Brien, Wendy Schumacher, Seth Jaffe, Mina Dillard & more. In this sequal the main actress is played by Tane McClure, which was portrayed by Shannon Tweed in the first film. She is a woman who is having horrible nightmares of her husband doing something & herself doing something terrible. After one of her visits to a psychitrists her nightmares start to become reality. She goes to see her husband who is a college professor & ctaches him having sex with one of his students in his office. She gets revenge by sleeping with the girls boyfriend & then proceeds to torture the three of them. This was an ok movie. There's a lot of bad acting, but there are also a few naked chicks in it. It was like one of those bad Cinemax soft core adult films, it's bad, but you can't help but watch it. The first one with Shannon Tweed was better!!! |
| SKATE & SURF FEST 2004 HIGH ROLLER STUDIOS / RADIO TAKE OVER (DVD) 2005 This is the first DVD installment of the annual SKATE & SURF FEST. The DVD contains live footage & interviews with the bands performing at the fest. This was shot on location at the fest which was held in Asbury Park, Nj. The fest was shot with seven different cameras to get the best all around footage of the fest. The fest is a three day event & features 150 bands. The bands are all in the Punk, Metal, Hardcore, Emo & Ska vein. The bands featured on the DVD are MIDTOWN, HOT ROD CIRCUT, PIEBALD, ANDREW W.K., SLIGHTLY STOOPID, MXPX, SENSES FAIL, THE EARLY NOVEMBER, THE STARTING LINE, ARMOR FOR SLEEP, BOYS NIGHT OUT, THE BOUNCING SOULS & COHEED & CAMBRIA. There's a bunch of extras like outtakes from the interviews, beach footage, fan footage, surfing, BMX, & Skating footage, plus promo videos of other HIGH ROLLER STUDIOS releases. This is a must for fans of the above styles! Well worth owning!!! - P.O. BOX 1002 / BRONX, NY. 10471 / warmfuzzypr@aol.com / www.SKATEANDSURFDVD.com / www.HIGHROLLERSTUDIOS.com / wwwRADIOTAKEOVER.com |
| SUBURBIA (R) NEW WORLD PICTURES (VHS) 1984 Starring: Chris Pederson, Bill Coyne, Jennifer Clay, Timothy Eric O'Brien, Wade Walston, Flea & more. This film is from the 80's about a bunch of rebelious Punk Rock teens going against the conformaty of suburbian life. The punkers live in an old abbandoned house all together. The adults in the neighborhood want the palce torn down & to get rid of the teen punks. They don't really do anything too drastic & are your typical rebelious teens. They just have a Punk Rock image. They go to a few Punk shows by T.S.O.L., THE VANDALS & D.I., which was cool. It was cool seeing these bands performaning live. Maybe in the 80's these kids seemed bad, but by todays standards they were quite mellow. This is a decent film to check out and you can see a very young Flea from the RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS in it!!! |
| THE HOLE (R) DIMENSION FILMS (DVD) 2001 Starring: Thora Birch, Desmond Harrington, Daniel Brocklebank, Laurence Fox, Keira Knightly & more. This movie is about a group of college kids who want to do something different for their holiday break. The one friend knows of the perfect place. He takes them to an old bomb shelter in the ground. Four of the teens decide to stay & party in the bomb bunker. One of the girls is obsessed with the one guy & will do anything to have him love her. As they continue to party all these strange things happen. Three of the teens die off in different ways & in strange ways. The one gilr who lives to tell the story to detectives of the bizarre deaths, but there's a weird twist at the end that gives the movie a good turn & makes it a better movie than thought to be!!! |
| TOOLBOX MURDERS (R) LIONS GATE FILMS (DVD) 2003 Starring: Angela Bettis, Brent Roam, Marco Rodriguez, Rance Howard, Juliet Landau & more I was very happy when I found out about this remake. One reason is it's a remake of one of my favorite 70's horror movies & Tobe Hooper (TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, POLTERGIEST) made it. Well, I was quickly disappointed. This film was nothing like the original one. This one is about an old apartment building in Hollywood that has had mysterious things happening to people in the building since the 40's. The only thing the same is the killer uses tools as his weapons of killing. He uses a hammer, drill, electric saw, crowbar & more. The killer is hidden in some hidden cooridors & holes all through out the building. There is a surprise with the killer in the end of the film, but it's something you might eventually suspect. There was a few gory parts, but nothing too great. I liked the original much, much better! www.TOOLBOXMURDERS.co.uk |
| WAR OF THE WORLDS (PG-13) PARAMOUNT PICTURES / DREAM WORKS PICTURES (Theater) 2005 Starring: Tom Cruise, Justin Chatwin, Dakota Fanning, Tim Robbins, Miranda Otto & more I wasn't too sure about this film. I'm not a huge fan of Tom Cruise, but this was a Steven Speilberg movie, so it has to be some what good. The film starts off with Tom's character going to pick up his kids from his ex-wife. He shows up late & she is worried he won't be responsable & something bad will happen. It does, big time! A huge storm heads in & keeps shooting lighting down in the same spots. Come to find out it was shooting something in the ground. Up rises giant robots operated by alien life forms. They start incinerating people & blowing up buildings. The military comes into action, but they make no difference. There is a lot of intense action & special effects all through out the film, but there is a typical Hollywood ending to this big budget picture!!! - www.WAROFTHEWORLDS.com |