| MOVIE & VIDEO REVIEWS (October 2001) |
| CHOPPER CHICKS IN ZOMBIE TOWN (R) TROMA / NEW LINE 1991 Starring: Jamie Rose, Cathrine Carlen, Lycia Naff, Don Calfa, Martha Quinn & more. By the movie title alone you can tell this is a TROMA movie & you know exactly what to expect. A gang of nomad typer chopper chicks wandering through town after town, stealing, vandalizing & having sex with who ever they want! Well, they're in for a surprise when they visit this small backwoods hick town. The towns mortician has brought the dead back to life to go into the contaminated mines for some sort of chemical that is sold as a drug! Once the zombies get loose this quiet little town becomes "Zombietown" & it's up to the cycle sluts to save the day!. The film was pretty decent as far as B-movies go, but I feel if NEW LINE had nothing to do with this film it would have been much gorier, more bloodier & at least one naked chick. Billy Bob Thorton plays one of the hicks & there's a cool midget in this film! A good TROMA movie but not one of their best!!! MOTHER'S DAY (R) TROMA / SAGA FILMS A.B. Starring: Holden Mcguire, Billy Ray McQuade, Rose Ross, Nancy Hendrickson & Debrah Luce. This movie is about 3 college friends, who every year get together on the same weekend & go on a trip! This weekend would be their last! This trip is to the woods for a weekend of camping & swiming. Well, the trip starts off fun with some cooking, swim-ming, story telling, etc...until 2 backwoods hillbilly boys kidnap the girls & take them home for mamma. The mother tells the boys what to do to the girls, many forms of humiliation & torture. They even rape & kill one of the girls. The house is coverred in the remains of their previous victims, trash & other kind of garbage. Some how the other 2 girls escape & take revenge for their dead friend. Some parts were a little slow, but for the most part there was enough blood, guts & stupid humor to satisfy my B-movie cravings. This fits in perfectly with all the other TROMA movies!!! |
| BASKET CASE (R) RUGGED FILMS INC. Starring: Kevin Van Hentenryck, Terri Susan Smith, Beverly Bonner, Robert Vogel & Dianna Browing. This movie started off kind of slow when this young boy travels to New York with nothing but his back pack & a wicker basket. he shacks up in some hotel & then this is where the action begins. He keeps talking to the basket & feeding what ever is inside & takes it everywhere with him. We later learn that boy was a twin, only his brother is the deformed ball of fleah inside the basket. They have come to New York to kill off the 3 doctors who seperated them, which they succeed in doing!!! The movis is slow in some spots, but for the most part it's chocked full of classic B-movie humor & gore!!! BLOOD DINER (R) LIGHTNING PICTURES Starring: Rick Burks, Carl Crew, Roger Dauer, Lanette LaFrance & Lisa Guggenheim. The movie starts off with 2 little kids playing in their house when their deranged uncle burst in. He is covered in blood & weilding a butcher knife. He tells his nephews to remember all the stuff he taught them, then he is mowed down by police bullets. Twenty years go by & the 2 nephews dig up their uncles body & steal the brain. They do some black magic & the brain comes to life. he tells them to do all this crazy stuff, like cutting up vegitarian women, making soup from slutty chicks, etc... They use their diner as a front, plus they put all the left overs in the food. The whole ordeal is to resurrect some beautiful demigod "Seitar" from some ancient bloodcult. Well, the movie has a lot of gore, nudity & cheesy 1 liners, but what else would you expect from a horror movie from the 80's. This is classic B-Horror all the way!!! BLOOD SUCKERS FROM OUTERSPACE (R) ONE-OF-THOSE PRODUCTIONS Starring: Thom Meyers, Laura Ellis, Dennis Letts & others. I'm a huge B-movie freak, so I love just about every terrible movie out there, but this is one of those films I would highly suggest staying away from! First off, cheesy acting & special effects are cool, when they are meant to be that way. This movie takes place in some backwoods town in Texas, when a farmer is suddenly turned into a very poor looking zombie. Then a bunch of towns people turn up dead with the blood drained from the bodies. Some scientist figure out it's a shapeless, odorless, invisible thing from outer space that is carried by the wind. Once someone is hit by the wind they are turned into Bloodsuckers From Outerspace. This also means a very horrible attempt at a rip off of the great movie Dawn Of The Dead & Day Of The Dead movies. As bad as this movie was I wouldn't consider it a D-movie, let alone a B-movie! If you want a B-movie done right, you gotta go with TROMA! I'll stick with my TROMA's!!! FREAK MAKER, THE (R) VIDCREST / GETTY PICTURES (1974) Starring: Donald Pleasence, Tom Baker, Brad harris, Julie Ege & Michael Dunn. This is a European horror film from the early 70's. The film is about a college science teacher who teaches lessons on human & plant DNA. His ultimate goal is to splice plant & human DNA together to start a race of plant people. The scientist uses a local sideshow to round up people to do experiments on. He tells the freaks he will figure out how to make them normal if they help. The scientists succeeds in making his plant people in the end & as all scientists creations, they turn on the makers to destroy them. The movie began a little slow, but picks up towards the middle & the final plant person was pretty cool looking too. The best part was the freaks used in the sideshow were actaul real freaks. It reminded me of Todd Browning's classic movie "Freaks". |
| TROMA FILMS If you seen the print version of this magazine, you know I'm a huge TROMA fan & always have a section for their movies in the reviews. Guess what? It's here too!!! |
| BEWARE! CHILDREN AT PLAY (R) TROMA 1995 Starring: Michael, Robinsons, Rich Hamilton, Robin Lily & a cast of others! A father & his son go on a camping trip in the woods, when the father gets his leg caught in a bear trap! The boy eventually watches his father die from lose of blood. Some how, ten years later the young boy survived in the woods & starts luring the nearby towns children into the woods. He teaches them to revolt against the adults in violent & cannabalistic ways! There are a few cool bloody parts, but not as many as I thought coming from TROMA. This movie is a cross between "Children Of The Corn" & "Ravenous", but not as good as either! If your already a TROMA fan or a B-movie fan then you'll dig this flick!!! |
| HANNIBAL (R) MGM / UNIVERSAL (2001) Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Gary Oldmen, Julian Moore & Ray Liota. I'm sure most of you out there reading this have already seen this film, if not you should!!! I saw this in the theater when it 1st came out. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I woudn up loving this film. "Silence Of The Lambs" is one of my all time favorite films & this sequeal was just as good. Hannibal is back, he has been hiding out in Italy for over 10 years. Once he comes out of retirement the blood begins to spill!!! Gary oldman plays a rich mutilated victim of Hannibal's (the only one to survive) who uses his power & wealth to capture Hannibal for his own sick amuesment. Julian Moore takes over for Jodie Foster as Clarice an FBI agent who interviewed Hannibal in the last film. She did a great job, but I wish Jodie would have taken the part. There is a lot of weird, gross, symbolic & just plain bizzarre surprises in this film!!! This film also gave me lots of different feelings & makes you think a lot! I loved this film!!! |
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